Tuesday, February 9, 2010

My Happy Place

It recently occurred to me that getting up in the wee hours of the morning to attend to a small child is really stressing me out. When I'm tired it's a lot easier for stray thoughts to keep me up at night - you know what I mean: arguments that I had when I was 10, teenage injustices long since past, that one guy that one time - trivial, silly stuff. But it's amazing how that trivial stuff can bother you SO MUCH at 4:30 am.

So you know what I do? I go to my happy place. I imagine the blackberries I hope to grow out front. I think of all the seeds I just bought and visualize how very much I shall enjoy planting them when Spring comes.

And because my son has not been sleeping well, I have had the need to go to my happy place more often. That is why I am obsessed with all the dirt in various buckets I have in my kitchen. The biggest bucket has potatoes, and I have 1/2 a milk carton full of peas. I am starting some tomatoes and peppers in very small pots - a few of the tomato seeds just sprouted yesterday.

For some reason the gardening happy place is giving me a much greater high than the spinning happy place. I would hate to think my gardening thing is just a phase because if I could grow vegetables all the time we would eat much better around here.

Friday, February 5, 2010

I wear black because I'm such a bad guy

It's kind of sad when the most exciting thing going on in my life is the television I watch.

Since I posted about Series One and Series Two of Robin Hood, it only makes sense that I should also write a little something about Series Three. Unfortunately, there were no aliens, spaceships, ninjas, or pirates in this season. There was plenty of other weirdness, however, that I don't particularly wish to mention, except to give a few final thoughts on the show:

1) The first season was undoubtedly the best.
2) The bad guys are easy to spot in this show: they all wear black.
3) There quite a few actors in this show who have also made appearances on Doctor Who: Malcolm Loxley (Also spelled Locksley? I don't know which is correct) = Shakespeare, Will Scarlet = Son of Mine, Friar Tuck = That one guy in the Christmas Special who wants his daughter to live forever.

I read on Wikipedia that the guy who plays Robin Hood was going to leave the show after Series Three anyway, so they were going to introduce a brother to take his place, a la the Dread Pirate Roberts. That made me think a little bit: What if the "real" Osama Bin Laden has been dead for years? Or living like a king in Patagonia? What if there's actually a long line of Osama Bin Ladens the same way there have been Dread Pirate Robertses? With all the crazy computer nonsense we have these days, those videos of him condemning this and condoning that could be easily doctored....

Thursday, February 4, 2010

On "Being Poopy"

When I was growing up, if we ever encountered someone who was being rotten just for the fun of it, we said that he or she was "being poopy."

This morning I got a much better understanding of what it means to be "poopy" when my son awoke at 4:30 am and again at 6:30 am this morning. At 6:30 my eyelids had turned into lead and the rest of my body was glued to the covers so I decided to see if he would go back to sleep on his own. A half an hour later The Offspring was still squeaking so I dragged my carcass, zombie-like, to his side. And you know what the problem was? He was poopy. Really poopy.

When I finally got my shower at 10:30 am I was thinking about the true meaning of poopiness and it made me laugh.

I can't really blame him for making my "nights" so miserable. (Notice how I put "nights" in quotes - it's because having a child has made a mockery of our sleeping habits) I know some of you are judging me because my child isn't yet sleeping through the night (oh, that Holy Grail of parenthood!) but I don't think the "cry-it-out" method is going to work when he has a cold and a poopy diaper.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Garden Vlog

I've decided to document my gardening adventures through video blogging or "vlogging," meaning I'm going to make videos of everything and post them to YouTube.

Check out my channel: Lady Bluemantle's Channel

Bluemantle is the name I use when I play Warcraft with The Husband. And yes, I do have an actual cashmere scarf that is blue. I'll blog about it sometime.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Last Night's Dream told as a Short Story

This is honestly and truly what my dream was about last night. If I have changed anything, I have left out some of the weirder parts to make it shorter and less freaky. I haven't added anything or changed names.

I remember once when I was five, I saw Bugs Bunny wink at me from the Television. "Hello, Marianne," he said. When I told my mom about it she just thought I was being silly. "You have quite an imagination," she told me. It wasn't until I was in college that I realized how powerful the imagination can be.

I set up my easel and got out my paints. Today my subject was the Cathedral. I looked at all the statues of the Saints - Peter, James, John - and smiled to myself. The statue of Peter was looking examining a book that had all the signs of the zodiac and a helicopter. Strange, that, I thought to myself.

I did a wash of blue for the sky and a wash of silver-grey for the Cathedral. The watercolors flowed down the paper, making it shimmer. And then, suddenly, a man appeared in my painting! He smiled at me as he leaped off the paper. He bowed low and said, "Greetings, my lady. My name is Jacob." I stared in amazement as he explained to me that I had a special gift - through my painting I could tap into the collective super-conscious [sic] of the universe. He took my hand and he brought me into the painting.

I had never seen a more beautiful forest. The sun was shining through the trees and the birds were singing. Fallen leaves made a thick, soft carpet on the forest floor. "I could stay here forever!" I shouted. "You don't understand, Marianne,"Jacob told me. "If I can get out, and if you can come in, then that means other things can come out of your paintings, too."

We returned to my easel outside the Cathedral. Everything looked normal at first until I saw the statue of Peter. He was no longer bending over the book about the zodiac, he was tied up! Another statue of a man was behind him. I turned to look at Jacob but he shouted at me. "Don't look away! Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead!" [A gold star to whoever can guess the reference]

When I looked back, the statues of James and John were gone, and the strange statue was dragging Peter away.

Suddenly I heard Jacob shout, "No!" I turned to look behind me but he was gone. I looked to the horizon and saw a great battle. A woman dressed in blue and her daughter were dragging away a struggling Jacob. I sprang into action. If I have a gift for tapping into imagination, then I am the one in control, not these demons!

With a flourish I donned a blue cloak embroidered with silver flowers. I was no longer the weak, timid Marianne. I was the Lady Bluemantle! I practically flew towards the battle. Using all my martial arts training I sorted the rabble [I won't go into detail here...but my dream did. Think lots of broken bones - other people's, not mine].

At last it was all over. I was elated, drunk with power. "I really can do anything, Can't I?" I asked Jacob who now bore a cut above his left eyebrow.

"I told you," he said. "You have a gift. All the imagination in the universe is at your command."

"HA!" I exclaimed as I dove once more into my painting.

"Wait!" He shouted. "You shouldn't go there without me! You don't know what you're doing!"

And that, gentle reader, is when I woke up.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

More on Robin Hood



We finished season two. Or series two, rather; in Britain they always call them "series" instead of "seasons."

---Here there be spoilers---

In the second season, the producers were a lot less concerned with being "historically accurate." For example there is an episode that features a visiting German noble who likes to gamble. His garb is distinctly 18th century when the story is supposed to take place in the 12th. They also transform Nottingham Castle into a casino. "This week's episode will be taking place in Monte Carlo!"

Also Marian's costumes are kind of weird - definitely not 12th century. Not any century, really. I don't really like what they do with Marian's character in the second season. She rejects Guy at the altar at the end of season one but then she keeps toying with his emotions so she can get information for Robin Hood. It just makes poor Guy fall more and more in love with her. It's kind of childish and manipulative. By the end of the second season, she was no longer a sympathetic character. Granted, I don't think she should have married Guy, either.
I can haz domestic violence?

Guy is a very complex, dynamic character and Richard Armitage performs him well. He's fun to watch, and I think he's more interesting than Robin Hood. You almost wish Marian would just go ahead and marry him. But if we were to take back our willful suspension of disbelief for a moment, Guy is also the kind of person who would not be above knocking the wife around a bit, you know what I mean? But you do feel sympathy for him. I like to imagine what would happen if Guy were to go in for therapy, which he so obviously needs. "I never felt like I got approval from my father...My mother died when I was a kid...*sob* All I want is to be loved!"

I wonder what other creative license they'll take in season three? If they can go to Monte Carlo and search for buried treasure and plan for a heist a la Ocean's Eleven, I am guessing that this season they will discover an alien spaceship in Sherwood and start using super-clever outer-spacey weapons to bring down the Sheriff. Then they'll team up with a band of wandering ninjas who also make a pretty good singing group. And after Nottingham is all cleaned up, a bunch of pirates turn up, giving Robin Hood et al another villain to fight.

Man, I should write for TV.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Diaper Update

I don't know how many of you out there actually care...but after my wholly unpleasant experience with Pampers Cruisers I have vowed to never purchase them again. However, that was after I had already bought a giant box that could not be returned because I opened it. I've been using the Cruisers exclusively during the day when The Kid is changed every couple of hours. I got some Huggies for use at night - I have never had a sodden morning with them.

But last night in my haste to put him to bed, I forgot to change him into a Huggies diaper. I have a lot of laundry to do today. A diaper with a 100% nocturnal leakage rate is a really poorly made diaper.

I just thought I'd mention it.
Related Posts with Thumbnails