Gardening 2013

When I tried my hand at gardening the last time I was pregnant, I ended up with a huge disaster on my hands. Not wanting a repeat of that experience, but also not wanting to completely waste a whole growing season, I decided to keep things super simple. I have planted lettuce, carrots, and peas. That's it. I have a few volunteers poking up here and there (mostly spinach and chamomile), but the largest part of my garden space is blank for now. It's about time to start thinking about corn and pumpkins, and if I happen to have any energy this weekend I might plant some. Maybe. Or I'll see if I can get The Husband to do it for me.

I don't have any pictures because our new camera (remember I mentioned that The Cookie killed our previous camera?) won't be here for another week or so.

The Squeaker and I picked the first strawberries of the season today. Delicious! It had been a while since I went out to check on the garden, and I found my peas replete with pea blossoms, too. Soon, we will be rolling in sugar snap peas!

A few weeks ago I sent out an email to the Relief Society in my ward offering mint starts to anyone who wanted any, as I intended to rip out my entire mint patch. Well, I over-estimated my energy level and the mint is still there. So...anyone want some mint?

Blowing the Whistle

I know this is random, but...

In 1994 when I was in 5th grade, a girl in my class named Jessica plagiarized her essay on slavery from the American Girl Doll book, "Meet Addy." All she did was change the names. If I had mentioned this fact to my teacher, I doubt she would have gotten full marks.

That is all. Carry on.

Picking my Battles

Usually when I say something on my blog that some might find outlandish, the members of the online community have a tendency to roll their eyes, murmur, "Whatever, Beth," and continue on their merry way.

Well, this afternoon someone said something that I thought was just the teensiest bit rude. Rather than defend my position, I thought, "I really don't have time for this garbage." So I took my entire post down.

Maybe I'll put the post back up some other time. Maybe I won't.

The Best Mother's Day Presents Ever

I took a three hour nap today after Church. And when I woke up, I found a cup full of flowers (dandylions, apple blossoms, and hoary cress) on the kitchen table, just for ME! The Squeaker found them for me when he went on a walk with his dad.

Isn't life grand?

Beth's Birth Affirmations

I didn't remember it was Mother's Day until I was already halfway though writing this. I suppose it's an appropriate topic for the day! Hurrah!

I'm pretty close to giving birth again, as you probably know from reading my blog. My last birth with The Cookie, an unmedicated hospital birth, was an extremely positive, moving experience, and I have high hopes for something similar this time around. One thing that helped me a lot during the labor was a series of affirmations. "I can't do this!" I said sometime during transition. "I want an epidural!" [Tangent: yes, I did ask for one. But I am very glad I didn't get one.] My doula, my midwife, and My Husband replied with things like, "You are doing really well. You can do this. You are doing an amazing job. You're a pro!"

I have to say, I certainly didn't feel like I was doing an amazing job in the heat of the moment, but I guess my midwife was impressed because she wrote it on my chart and the other midwives in the practice commented on what a great job I did when they saw me afterwards.

Anyway, the last couple of days I've been giving myself my own series of birth affirmations as a way to psych myself up for labor and delivery. Some affirmations you can find on the internet are a little cheesy, and it could be that these are, too, but they are things that I believe are true that I hope will boost my confidence. This time, when I hit transition, I want to be better prepared. I think I will be.

Beth's Birthing Affirmations.

• I have no need to be afraid because I have done this before. 
• Heavenly Father created my body to give birth.
• Reports of Eve's "curse" are greatly exaggerated. 
• Birth is Eve's blessing and greatest gift to her daughters.
• I am a divine being. My baby is a divine being.
• I am participating in an ordinance to help this child enter mortality.
• I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. [From Dune]
• I have a strong body and it can do amazing things. 
• Because I have such strong muscles, each contraction is effective.
• Don't forget to breathe!
• Don't fight the contractions. Embrace them. Breathe with them.
• Relax. Feel all your muscles go limp.
• I can do this. I can do anything. 
• I am so excited to finally meet my baby.
• I trust my body to know what to do.
• Time does not exist. 
• I know everyone in this room has faith in me and in my body's ability to complete this task.
• God created my body. God does not make junk. 
• I am officiating at the veil to welcome my baby into this world.
• I am safe. I am calm. I feel secure.
• The people in this room care about me, and respect me.
• I am flexible and will meet unforeseen events calmly. 
• The contractions are not stronger than me, because they are me. 
• I am in a safe place. 
• I am comfortable here.

This series of affirmations reveals a lot about what I believe about labor and birth. 

I can say things like, "the people in this room respect me," because I have given birth at this particular hospital before, and I see it as a safe place where I won't be pressured into doing things I don't want to do. I've seen this same practice of midwives for years, through all my pregnancies - the ones that ended in miscarriage and the ones that ended in live births. They know me and I trust them. So what with one thing and another, I am going into this knowing I will be taken care of at a time when I am most vulnerable. 

And I have a burning testimony of the importance and divinity of the birth process that I wish more women in the church could have. When other women say things like, "So I can give birth and be a mom. So what? Big whoop." I think to myself, "SO WHAT?! Do you not realize how incredible this is? How amazing? What a blessing it is to take part in such a beautiful thing?! It IS a big deal!" Nothing in my life has given me a sense of female empowerment the way giving birth to The Cookie has. 

Happy Mother's Day to me! 

Karate, Zen, and the Blahs

I am "officially" full-term on Sunday. That means I have another three weeks until I hit the 40 weeks of gestation mark. And I have the blahs.

Apart from all the pregnancy stuff - I am 8 months, after all, and I'm growing out of some of my maternity clothes - it's been kind of a tough couple of weeks, emotionally speaking. Certain of my close friends and family are going through some truly difficult trials, and it feels very personal. Plus some stuff is going on in my neighborhood that makes me wish I had a sniper rifle and grenade launcher. Also yesterday afternoon the Squeaker thought it would be a good idea to pee on the pavement in the backyard. This might have been acceptable if he had thought to remove his underwear, first.

Yesterday I was practically in tears by the time The Husband came home from work, and when I was finished telling him my woes, I really was in tears. "And the worst part is," I wailed, "I want to go to Karate tonight because I'm so stressed out and I can't!!!" The Husband suggested that I go to the dojo to practice, anyway, even if I couldn't participate in the group class (push-ups, sit-ups, and most kicking drills are kind of impossible right now, to say nothing of sparring).

"...That could work..." I said. So that's what I did. I've really been missing Karate a lot. I was completely off my game and made a ton of mistakes, but by the end of the evening, my mind felt clearer and more centered than it has in a long time. And then I promptly ruined it by surfing the internet for an hour after I got home.

I've been trying to recapture that feeling of Zen-ness all day. Listening to conference talks and knitting is helpful. Putting up my feet while enjoying a facial mask is helpful. The ambient guitar music of Jeff Pearce is helpful. My neighbor's new DJ equipment is not helpful.

I know a big part of my problem is that I am pregnant and hormonal. In fact, a couple times this week I have wanted to yell at people, "I am pregnant and I know Karate! Don't mess with me!!" Yeah, that'll show 'em.

The Cookie's Speech Un-Delay?

-Or- 

I'll Talk When I Want To Talk and Not When You Tell Me

I enrolled the Cookie into an early intervention program a month or so ago because he wasn't talking. He qualified for services because at 17 1/2 months, he could say "Woof woof," and nothing else. Kids are supposed to have a vocabulary of about 10 words by 18 months, and should be putting together two-word sentences, like "Daddy up!" or "want milk." The Cookie was just pointing to things and grunting. It was very difficult to find out what he wanted. "This? No? How about this? This thing?" The early intervention people tested him and he came up in the 2nd percentile for expressive language. He was in the 80th percentile for receptive language, though, which means he understood pretty much everything you said to him.

When I've mentioned it to some people, they express incredulity that it was even a worry in the first place. "He's so little. He'll catch up." That's true in a lot of cases, but it's still important to catch a speech delay early, for two big reasons:

1. A delay in speech can be a red flag for other problems that may not manifest themselves until later in life.
2. The earlier speech therapy can begin, the more effective it is in correcting the deficit

Dyslexia is on that list of "other problems." Since it doesn't run, but gallops in my family, I definitely wanted the speech delay to be checked out. Treating the delay wouldn't stop anyone from "catching" dyslexia, but it would develop what is known as "phonemic awareness," which would make coping with the dyslexia less of a challenge. So that's why I thought it was an important issue to address. Because, I mean, he wasn't talking at all.

Six weeks later, The Cookie has had one (1) therapy session. At 19 months, he suddenly has a vocabulary of about 30 words. He's using words to get his needs met instead of fussing or grunting. He picks up new words all the time. He is, basically, a normal talking toddler.

Was it the therapy? I don't know. It's possible. But it's also likely that he wanted to wait until he was good and ready. He was like that when learning to crawl and walk, and even when his teeth came in. He didn't do any pre-crawling or anything, he just woke up one morning and decided, "I think I'll crawl today." And he went from having zero teeth to having six in the space of two weeks.

In light of this sudden explosion of expressive language, I will probably cancel the rest of his therapy because it doesn't he needs it after all. I don't consider it a waste of time or resources, however. You can hope a child will grow out of a developmental delay, but you can never really be sure. Early intervention is the most effective means of correcting a delay, and if you wait too long, then it will too late for the therapy to be early intervention.